This Napoleon Dynamite Quotes web page brings you all the funniest quotes in the movie and there are a bunch of them. Maybe you know some that aren't listed here but you can submit them and we'll publish them crediting you for identifying them
Trisha: Thanks for the beautiful drawing. It's hanging in my room right now. Napoleon: Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
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Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again? Napoleon: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines! Don: Did you shoot any? Napoleon: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that? Don: What kind of gun did you use? Napoleon: A frickin' twelve-gauge, what do you think
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Napoleon: Yeah, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bow staff.
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Napoleon: Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.
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Kip: Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruising my neck meat!
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Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon. Napoleon: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its residents, and all those who seek a peaceful existence with our underwater ally.